First entry of the new year! Happy 2026 :3 How fucking grateful I am to leave 2025 behind.
For all the horrors I really did accomplish A LOT last year, I left an abusive relationship, I applied and will be
starting college finally, went to SO MANY concerts and on so many adventures with new friends. I also started this website!
I’m super excited to keep rambling here and keep updating this as I go along. Right now my focus is getting the rest of the
website UP and then I can start on more entries.
I did a lot of self-reflection and discovered a lot about myself in December and these last couple of days. I realized
that I am way too forgiving, I let people use my heart and kill my shine for the slight chance of approval or love, I will not
let that happen again. I found so many important friends last year that showed me I am loved exactly the way I am and there's nothing I
need to hide about myself. Not only that, but I didn’t deserve what I went through and deserve the world, it finally feels like the love I
gave is coming back to me. I loved and got burned for it pretty badly, but I persist nevertheless. And knowing myself I have fallen again, to be
honest ‘fallen’ is so harsh because it felt like a natural build up of affection. We’ve decided to stay friends because we both have so much going
on and to work on, but he’s worth working for. That sounds selfish, and maybe I am in that i do wish there may be something more(sometime in the future,
but also honestly terrified of anything changing i don’t want to lose this kind of love), BUT I’m not really? working for him, I’m working for myself
first. I’m happy where we are now, and I’m all the more richer and becoming a better person for it. He's one of the special few that’s shown me I am worth it, and deserve the effort and care.
It’s nice to pour it into myself, and I can go into the new year loving that much harder because of it. I know you’re like one of the 5 people that will read this, so thank you again ♡
you really do mean the world to me. He’s not the only one either, there’s been so many that have helped me stay sane and feel loved, I feel like I’m finally building the family I’ve wanted
and needed for so long. Thank you L&T for making my birthday so special and always making me feel so loved, I really do need to make the trip to see yall again soon. And of course to my moirail,
for being there for 10 years now holy shiiit bro. AND JOLLY thank you for being one of the closest mutuals I have and always listening to me beat the same dead horse into glue.
I’m leaving that horse behind I promise.
I’m going into the new year with love and safety and I couldn't have done it without my friends and family, I love you all so much and so dearly.
Cheers to the year of the horse, I’m ready to charge ahead full speed into the dog I was meant to be and life I’m meant to have.
